today i choose happy
My father has always told me 'believe it or not, happiness is a choice'. On more than one occasion, I remember being so upset and frustrated by those words. I would think, 'you don't understand. sometimes there is no choice. sometimes bad things just continue to happen to you. sometimes the bad outweighs the good'.
Well, Dad, no matter how much I hate to say it, you were right.
In a recent conversation with a close friend, we found ourselves realizing that as humans, we often choose to become enveloped in our sadness. When we are disappointed we turn to the saddest playlists, pinterest boards full of quotes, social media stalking, & pints (or maybe even gallons) of ice cream. I will admit, sometimes that is what we temporarily need to heal our hurt. But how often do we decide to sit in or carry around our heartache? If there is one thing I have learned in 2016, it's to be content with your current situation. We need not minimize our pain and sorrow, but moving forward is necessary to our health.
Here is the glorious truth about high school: there will always be people who don't like you, and that's okay. There will always be other kids who hear snarky comments whispered about them in the hallways. There will always be other people who feel stupid for not understanding a word their teacher is saying. There will always be other girls who are sad over some boy, and vice versa.
The point is, you are not alone.
I realized this on a day when I was feeling particularly upset about something particularly unimportant (of course that doesn't sound like any other teenage girl, right?). I kept thinking, 'What right do I have to be throwing myself a pity party, when there are plenty of people out there who could use some sunshine in their lives? & I could be the one to offer that!' I decided to make a list of all the little things that make me happy.
my list started a little something like this:
candles
notebooks/paper/planners
a good hearty laugh in the midst of tears
ulta lipstick shade 247
pizza
an unexpected text or phone call from an old friend
photographs
fresh cut fruit
dresses
homemade chicken noodle soup
a poem that makes you cry
those silly cornetto cupidity videos
black nail polish
the gospel
that one lyric in that one song that makes you go "hey. that's me."
And before I knew it, my list had gotten longer and longer. I think this was the pivotal moment for me. Here I had a scale: on one hand, I could continue to feel sorry for myself; on the other, I could choose to not let the challenges standing in my way define me. The longer my list got, the more I wanted to help the people around me add to their lists.
Happiness is and always will continue to be a choice.
Fill your life with laughter and good friends. Embrace the fact that bad things do happen, and will never stop happening. How you roll with the punches determines everything. Remember not to care what anyone thinks of you, except yourself; because at the end of the day that's all that really matters. Please learn to love yourself. It makes it so much easier to spread that love to those you know. Make mistakes- learn from them. Most importantly, remember that everyone is fighting hard battles.
the time for being sad is over. don't deprive yourself of joy just because you're in the midst of storms.
A year ago I probably would have told you that things didn't seem like they would ever get much brighter. Yet today, here I am, sitting at my laptop, eating a clementine, listening to 'you got it' by roy orbison and feeling so grateful for all of the moments that have lead me to this point in my life. I'm here to tell you it can and will get better. I'm here to tell you that life flies by. So please use your time here wisely- filling your world to the brim with happiness.
Life is a funny thing. Nobody ever said it couldn't be happy and messy simultaneously.
look for the good. keep finding it.
xoxo
love, mads